I have a verbal hangover from something I said (okay, yelled) during a fight with my husband last night. Something I swore I would never tell him. I know what you’re thinking — that married couples should have no secrets from each other. But I’m here to tell you that’s bull. There are certain things you should never tell your husband — no matter what. When it comes to preserving marital bliss, Grandma’s old adage still holds true: What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. So after years of watching my friends step right in a big pile of it, and though I’m practically blinded by this big-mouth hangover, I’ve made a list of things you should never, under any circumstance, tell your husband.
1. Never admit that you hate his mother…even if he bad-mouths her first (the Silence Is Golden rule)
It can be tempting to add your two cents as your husband is telling you yet another story about his controlling, manipulative, but stinky mother. Tempting to say, “You think that’s bad? The other day she told me all of our son’s good qualities come from her! She’s just a delusional, dried-up old cow who wishes she could be married to you and who resents the hell out of me just because you love me!” Take a deep breath and hold your tongue. Remember, he can say whatever he wants, because she’s his mommy. If you agree too adamantly, bad things will happen to your relationship, not the least of which is that your husband will never let you forget your slip up and will preface everything he says about her with, “I know you hate her, but–” To be safe, apply this rule to all blood relations, particularly step kids. Save your opinions about his family for your girlfriends or your shrink and you’ll live a much happier life — trust me.